how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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