Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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