I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
