ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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