I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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