I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
