i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
