It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
