I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize