well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
