Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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