somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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