My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he puts the penis in happiness.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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