I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
