Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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