3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
