He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize