so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
