respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
