And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
