Dual....:-)
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize