And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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