Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
