He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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