Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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