i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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