is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
and she was petting her beer can
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
