She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
