I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
