oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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