sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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