I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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