fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
