was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
