U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
