I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
