sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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