You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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