This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
