Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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