I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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