i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
