I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
