i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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