Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just found puke in my bra..
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
