glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
