dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's never too late to be topless.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
