The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
