1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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