I didn't shave. On purpose
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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