so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
