Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
