Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
