i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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