wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
40s are totally the cure
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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