"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize