It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
