i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
