So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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